An American author named Gary Demonte Chapman, Ph.D. talks about The Five Love Languages. He wrote “The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition,” which addresses single adults’ exceptional needs. On the other hand, these languages can also help address anyone’s needs in terms of Self-Love.
Self-Love means respect for one’s own welfare, happiness, and peace. Self-Love is highly considered instead of a narcissistic attitude.
An article I read suggests that it is important to love oneself because it will give us the ability to love other people. For example, if you are not happy with your body shape, you will not also be happy with others’ body shape. It also suggests that if you love yourself, you understand that you deserve good things in life as much as anybody else. Self-Love boosts self-esteem, worth, and confidence.
So, let us talk about the five lingoes of Self-Love and see what is yours?
5 Lingoes of Self-Love, What is Yours?
1. Quality Time
Self-Love means giving quality time to yourself. It means that you give yourself time for the things you love to do or love. For instance, I love writing and sharing my thoughts; therefore, I give myself time to do my home blog project. My blogging activities give me comfort and let my mind flow while keying my thoughts. It’s a relaxing moment for me.
Another example of quality time for one’s self is taking yourself out. For example, you can visit the salon and give ourselves a cute hair and nails done. You go out to shop or visit your favorite restaurant. Some people may think it’s quite boring to go out by yourself. But I can tell you that giving yourself a ‘Me-Time’ is an excellent way to discover and understand yourself.
Having quality time to yourself also means having solitude. At times, you need to seclude yourself from the world to get the privacy and peace you want. An article, I read, itemized several benefits when spending time alone:
- Solitude lets you restart your mind and unwind.
- Solitude helps to improve focus and productivity.
- Solitude allows you to discover yourself and find your voice.
- Solitude provides time for you to meditate.
- Solitude helps you work through problems more efficiently.
- Solitude can boost the quality of your relationships with others.
2. Acts of Service
Acts of service mean that you give yourself what you essentially need. You are taking care of your basic needs. It means you are self-sufficient. You are independent. There are times that failure can break you, but you can stand up.
In 2018, I had to leave my day job due to some unavoidable circumstances about my health. My wonderful husband helped me out to recover. But at some point, I felt incomplete and a burden to him. First, I used to earn my own, and second, I used to help my husband with our financial matters. Suddenly those stopped. It caused me self-pity, and I was so uncomfortable about it.
As soon as I recovered from my health issues, I looked for a side-hassle to address it. Fortunately, I was hired and now working as a part-time virtual assistant for a B2B marketing company. It was a tremendous relief. Yes, I may not earn as much as before, but it gives me self-fulfillment. I can practice my skills professionally and continue learning, I earn, and I don’t need to wait or ask for money from my husband to buy stuff for myself. What is more, I can also give to others, such as my parents and others in need. Plus, I know and feel that my husband is so proud of me. 😊
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3. Physical Touch
Physical touch concerns your body. It means pampering and learning to love your body. For instance, having a good massage or doing yoga. If you are physically and emotionally exhausted, it’s hard for you to handle stress. So, doing self-care by physical touch is critical to help you battle stress, tension, or anxiety.
An article says, “that while self-pampering doesn’t always drive to major changes in overall health, (compared to the way healthy diet and exercise do), the relaxation you get from it can trigger the relaxation response. This, in turn, can prevent chronic stress from damaging your health. So, in a sense, self-care is good for you inside and out.”
You can try some of these physical touch self-care routines:
- Taking a bubble bath.
- Facial massage.
- Facial spa.
- Feet spa.
- Nourishing your skin.
- Having nails done.
- Getting a massage.
- Physical exercising.
- Petting an animal.
- Reducing caffeine intake.
- Having a good release with your partner.
- Play with kids.
- Hug someone you love.
- Enjoy aromatherapy.
4. Receive Gifts
Receiving gifts means you are investing in yourself. Spend monies on your hobbies. Don’t deprive yourself; instead, buy yourself a gift. Some people say, especially those who already have kids, that instead of self-gift, they rather buy some essentials to their kids. Yes! I agree. But it is also equally important to buy gifts for yourself.
Receiving gifts to yourself allows you to feel that you are loved, supported, nourished, and appreciated. Nobody will appreciate you more than yourself. There are several ways to gifting yourself. It can be monetary or non-monetary.
Here are some non-monetary gifts you can give to yourself.
- Don’t be harsh or too much hard for yourself.
- Spending time gazing at the stars at night.
- Allowing yourself to get a power nap during the day.
- Forgiving yourself.
- Giving yourself a second chance – following and fulfilling your dreams.
Here are some monetary-based gifts you can give to yourself.
- Buying a new gadget.
- Buying clothes.
- Spending monies on your hobbies.
- Spending on seminars or short courses that can enhance yourself professionally or personally.
- Spending on traveling.
5. Words of Affirmations
Words of affirmations mean using positive words in building yourself up. It’s positive self-talk. You are the biggest cheerleader of yourself. Giving words of affirmations to yourself is vital because it increases self-esteem and confidence. At the same time, it disposed of negative emotions and thoughts. A health article I read said that “people who can master positive self-talk are thought to be more confident, motivated, and productive.”
Here are some positive-self talker statements.
- It’s okay. I can learn and grow as a person.
- I can do it. I’ll give all my best and get through this problem.
- I’m a beautiful and strong person.
- I can take charge. I’m a good leader.
- Even if I failed, I’m proud of myself in trying it.
- I don’t care what others think, and I will pursue my dreams.
- I shall fight and shall win this game!
- I’m bright and creative!
- My body is healthy, my mind is brilliant, and my soul is calm.
- I’ll forgive those you hurt me in the past and distance from them.
- What a wonderful marriage I have.
- My business is growing in progress!
- I’m blessed with a beautiful family.
- I’m going to defeat my sickness!
- Tomorrow is another day! I shall seize it!
Self-Love is respecting and taking good care of yourself. I’m pleased that I could share my thoughts with you about the Five Lingoes of Self-Love with you. Again, I will tell you, don’t be too hard to yourself and don’t deprive yourself of doing what you love. Give yourself what you deserve. Always keep in mind these five languages of self-love:
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Receive Gifts
- Words of Affirmations
Now, what’s your lingo?
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