Did you ever experience being forcefully criticized, insulted, or was denounced by someone? Did you experience having a heated argument due to differences that led to unacceptable swearing, cursing and criticism? Did you experience being shouted, thrown hurtful words which drags your character and well-being down? Did you share all this with someone you consider a loved one, family or friend?
Yes, I did. I was repeatedly verbally abused!
It was a painful, emotional drainer, unhealthy, and character degrader. I felt so much pain that struck my heart deeply.
It will eat your heart and brain out. Yes, there was no physical abuse, but verbal abuse is as good as physical abuse. It laments and tortures the emotional and psychological well-being of a human.
It was never easy. But I realized I must stand on my feet! I should not allow anybody to abuse me, verbally!
Yes, I was able to counter Verbal Abuse! I was able to stand up and free myself from this ungodly, inhumane and unfortunate act from someone! I wrote this to share with you how I did it. At first, I thought I could not! But then, I did! So are you!
Here are my key pointers on how to endure verbal abuse from rude and abusive people wanting to hurt you.
The Best Ever Solutions for Verbal Abuse!
#1. Know Yourself.
There is no one better to understand you but yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Know your opportunities and threats. Associate these with the decisions which you have made, either successful or failed ones. Associate these with your goals and your plans to achieve goals. Understand and accept yourself. By doing these, you will help yourself cope faster with different challenges and attacks from others. Remember! Nobody can put you down!
#2. Stay Calm and Relax.
I admit this is a challenge for me up to now. At some point, I lose control. When I get tired during the conversation, I realize why am I wasting my time corrupting my energy? Why do I need to counter by shouting, yelling or answering back using hurtful words? What shall I get after exhausting myself from screaming and crying?
Countering back makes me the worst abusive person too! I don’t want that title, either you! I want to see myself like a silent, calm ocean that helps seafarers reach their destination with success, not a troubled sea killing someone’s “life”.
#3. Avoid Arguments. Silence is a great key.
Silence is the right wisdom’s best response! Silence is the loudest, most robust tone you can make to counter an abusive attacker. While staying calm and relax, listen for a little while; and walk away if necessary. Find the best exit and relief yourself from vain noises.
Whatever hurtful words thrown at you, it will not make sense. These words don’t define you. Don’t get affected. Why? Let’s go back to the “Know Yourself” part; you know that these are just fabricated stories, phrases that intend to hurt your feelings. You know yourself, and no one can judge or criticize you.
Abusers will sort to all lame strategies, including posting unruly updates and comments against you on social media to show off how great they are, but your silence will diffuse all sort of bombs, I guarantee!
#4. Think of happy thoughts.
Reminisce the good times you had with that person. Look at his good glows, look at the things you have shared, you have cherished and happy about.
Drop the difference. After all, this person might be your household’s member, partner, colleague, good friend, or family. Happy thoughts will block hatred from entering your mind and heart. Happy thoughts will deliver you from doing irrevocable damages that will hurt you more.
#5. Invest in your Soul.
It’s my favorite recommendation. Due to high-end technology, diversified cultures, and a fast-paced environment, people forget the word “Faith”. I noticed that most of us want to go to malls, social events, and so on instead of meditating and reading good books such as Scriptures or even The Quran.
When I say “Invest in your Soul”, it means nurturing your relationship with our Creator. I am not a religious person; I sinned, I do worldly things, but I am encouraging you to stop for a while and find time to engage in an activity that will develop your spirituality. Having the right true faith will help you gain an open mind and heart that will understand how to block abusers and deal with them—investing in my soul has helped me manage and control myself overall. People will forsake you and me, but I believe not our Creator.
It’s hard to keep calm and properly think when you are in a heated argument, especially when someone verbally abuses you. But practicing the pointers above will ease the pain and eventually help you withstand and discourage any negativity that wants to strike you. I, myself, is a living beholder. I wrote this content after a super-heated conversation with someone I love-my father!
See how productive it can be if you will just shake it off? Tell me your experience and how did you conquer verbal abuse. I definitely love hearing from you!
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